Love in a changing World

17 Feb

I can’t speak for everyone, but I love LOVE. I enjoy hearing and witnessing the stories of blossoming relationships from late night conversations to meaningful encounters. I don’t think love is lost, but the dynamic is very different than what 20-something-year-old me remembers. Connection is so important, but now it comes with multi-faceted complexities. Yet, there are questions that still remain so important in our journey to love - who are you becoming and who are you ready to build with?

How do we build meaningful connections in a world that feels very momentary?

Discernment Over Distraction

Where options in dating feel endless and you can divide your attention to many people, discernment is essential. We need to be able to know the difference between knowing what we want and also knowing who we need. This is a strength to nurture within the chaos of modern dating. Reflecting on my own experience, I know that I compromised what I was looking for because I was distracted by a handsome face or someone’s overt charm but it wasn’t what God has intended for me in a partner. We can honour ourselves by knowing what we seek in a loving companion without being too picky or holding back in fear.

There’s a difference in dating someone who’s good to you vs. someone that’s good for you - this applies to both parties. As you reflect on where you meet yourself in this season of love, have discernment for the choices you make when you decide to lean into dating with intention.

The Beauty of Slower Love

Disclaimer: This doesn’t apply to all, because we’re not in control of how our love evolves with someone. Making that choice to be someone’s forever is not something that can be decided overnight. I’m so here for a love that lasts, that grows quietly and evolves beautifully in divine time. I used to think that I needed to rush to the altar and that I had control of when milestones in previous relationships would need to happen. Boy, I was so wrong but I must give myself grace; I was in love and caught in the flurry of emotions. When approaching love and a romantic relationship, being intentional is the chance you can give yourself to lean into love knowing exactly what you want. Some people don’t have a clue what they want, which is totally fine as long as they respect that the other person can’t meet them where they’re at. If you’re not sure then you shouldn’t pursue anyone who is looking for a partner. It sounds simple, but people lean into romantic interest even if it’s not clear on the person’s intentions.

With growth in previous seasons of my life and greater perspective, I’ve learnt to accept that slowness is not a setback. It gives room for clarity, friendship to develop as a beautiful foundation. The kind of love that we deserve is not rushed. It’s important to be aligned, not just in feelings but in values and timing that are reciprocal.

Preparing for Partnership, Not Just Love

There’s a difference between wanting love and being ready to build with someone. Real partnership requires more than feelings, it asks for readiness between you both. That’s why it’s important to be more focused on who you’re becoming, not just who you’re waiting for. Are you patient? Do you listen well? Have you prayed during this season in understanding how you can be whole as a person. When love does arrive and it feels clear, instead of wanting for someone to complete you, we hope that they meet you where you are. As you prepare for partnership, it goes beyond being emotional - it’s mental, financial and spiritual. You have to ask yourself, are you truly ready for what you’re asking and praying for?

“‘Do not awaken love until the time is right.’”

— Song of Songs 8:4

Choosing Love Without Losing Yourself

The dating landscape can feel exhausting, and sometimes it’s safer to dismiss about love than to admit we still want it. As I turned 30 being single, I really started to doubt my worth because I didn’t hit the milestone that my younger self put pressure on to meet. Over the last couple of years, from meeting individuals that have shown me that whilst they weren’t the right people for me, God revealed to me that in this season the love I chose must be for me before I can share it with someone. I’m not detached from the thought and desire of love but it feels different. There’s no compromise on what I know I’ve always wanted and that is worth waiting for.

Love might not look like it used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less sacred. In a changing world, your softness, your standards, and your hope still have room to grow. Don’t lose heart in the waiting. You’re not behind. You’re becoming. When you find love and work hard to make it a season of adventure, joy and fun with your significant other, it can be one of the most incredible experiences of our lives.